tick-tock tik-tok

tick-tock tick-tok TIME waits for no one and yet i bet you think you still got TIME to spare huh? okay (shoulder shrug) i’m really good at waiting maybe it’s being born 9th and one of the youngest of eleven that i was trained to wait wait my turn for the bathroom wait to eat wait to have my turn at whatever game was being played wait for everything i couldn’t wait to grow up i couldn’t wait to meet a guy then i couldn’t wait to get married it was always about me and my wants it’s hard not to have that viewpoint when you feel like you have to push yourself through to be seen heard acknowledged (picture trump at the nato summit) all the while i felt ok focusing on me because i was comfortable believing i had TIME

TIME to attend to the things that had always been there and that i naively believed would always be there TIME to really get to know my parents and have them re-tell the stories they had told throughout my childhood when i was ready to hear them for real and remember them write them down – i mean i'm the writer (they say) shouldn’t i have written them down somewhere? well TIME kept tick-tocking away and lo and behold here we are my DAD passed and my MOM has dementia (it doesn’t deserve a capital d)

She struggles to recall some basic terms and words now how will I ever re-hear how She was the star basketball player at Her ALL-Black high school, where she scored 100 points in one game it was fodder when i thought i had TIME to hear it again now i feel foolish for not paying better attention we all know this life is temporary and it will come to an end especially as believers yet we treat it so frivolously at TIMEs

tick-tock tick-tock the best thing to do now is to be as present as i’m able to enjoy my mom and whatever memory she has left and to make memories while we can together with my family and with my siblings tick-tock tick-tock, tik-tok.