Artist Statement

I saved this part for last at the recommendation of my professor, Dr. Clark. While this is the final task of this project, I’m very much in the trenches and reality of what is happening to my mom. I can’t fully comprehend what’s she’s going through, nor can she. The rock of Dementia has been thrown and sunk to our collective bottoms and the ripples of the diagnosis and evidence of its presence are certain. It has left all of us with feelings of uncertainty, fear, and sadness as we watch our mother traverse this difficult disease. 

 

I’ve always felt I was meant to be a writer but never took the leap of faith toward it, no holds barred. I've felt paralyzed by the fear of rejection, the possibility of failure, and the subsequent disappointment I would have in myself, or that others might have in me. The impetus to the change in my stance from sitting on the side of the road to sprint was the events that transpired over the past two years.  The emotional toll of the pandemic along with the murder of George Floyd and the resulting social unrest made me (re)realize how short life is, and if I was ever going to pursue my dreams, then I had to do it soon before it was too late. 

 

In the last moments of our final class, Dr. Clark spoke about how this course has always been about us, the student. It was never about the “thing” we were expected to produce, but more about pushing ourselves and trusting ourselves to do what we came to do as graduate students. I realized while he was speaking, that I had been waiting for someone to come along and push me and cheer me on all those years I was sitting on the pavement. It dawned on me, that by returning to school, I had taken the leap.  I can no longer wait for someone else to validate me, or cheer me toward my dreams, I must do it myself, with the trust and faith in the gifts and talents God has blessed me with. That’s not to say I don’t ever want any validation and an occasional, “you got this girl”, I’m human, I do want support, validation, and a cheer squad. But when I'm in the thick of it, it's my responsibility to push through and push forward.

 

I’m very blessed to have a huge cheer squad; my husband Danny, my daughter Jeweliana, my core-life group, and a long list of women who support me in life and in prayer, to my wonderful brothers and seesters and of course, my mom.

 

There truly is something beautiful about taking the leap, however carefully or haphazardly you take the steps toward the cliff of unknown. The beauty is composed of a mixture of the fear of failing and yet as you are falling, your entire view changes and you can begin to see aspects of your life you could not before, and it feels exhilarating. Will I fail in this process of pursuing writing? Yes. Will I feel disappointed? Yes. But in the midst of it all, I expect to learn a lot about myself, grow, improve, and succeed here and there along the way. The leap means I am no longer on the sidelines, nor relying on anyone else to push me. I am in full pursuit, leaping, landing, and jumping over and over again. 

 

The art form as displayed in this project, Digital Rememory is new to me, yet its intricate connections are very much a representation of me and how I think. I dare conclude that I have produced a piece of art, created in honor of my mom, and my family with the gifts and talents bestowed upon me from God. My hope is that this will be the first of many works that will progressively improve to edify those who come across it.

 

I hope it blesses you.

 

Sincerely, Leslie Rico
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